“When All I Could See Were Flowers” by Mari Ness

They tell the story differently.

          She
speaks of flowers, of sneaking into
to fine houses, of a robber girl –
a metaphor, they all know, for a
certain employee of a certain
insurance firm, who was, all agree,
quite attractive. Of knowing nothing
had changed. She speaks
of finally finding three women
who could help, of a reindeer
standing in the snow. She speaks
of barrenness and silence,
of never feeling a speck of warmth,
of needing the comfort of
a talking bird. Of the final trip. She
turns it into a fairy tale. People
smile when she speaks.

          He
speaks of antiseptic smells, of
endless, endless noise, of never
hearing the end of many tales. Of
knowing everything had changed.
He speaks of always feeling warm,
of always feeling lost, of forgetting
the taste of food.
Of strange hands on his skin,
and she never visiting.

It was hard, she says. So hard
to make the journey there. So many things
getting in the way. So hard
to find you when I did arrive –
they kept moving you from room to room,
from one white hallway to the next.

The robber girl nods along with this.

It was hard, he says. So hard
to look at the barren walls alone,
to hear laughter from the visitors,
from every goddamn TV, to know
that my journeys were probably done.

The robber girl says nothing.

I couldn’t let that happen, she says.

Not your place to choose, he says.

The robber girl pulls out her knife,
rubs a finger along its sharpened edge.

You weren’t the only one
shattered by that accident. Not
the only one to find yourself
frozen.

Didn’t you know
that I had already left?

Silence grows in the room,
sharper than fresh created ice.

Should I have asked them to pull the plug?
To let your grandmother mourn alone,
to leave you lost wherever you were?

You should have let me choose.

Blood falls from the sharpened knife.

I loved you, he says, softly enough. Before
everything was frozen. When
all I could see was flowers.

I loved you, she says, strongly enough. Before
everything was lost. When
you believed in fairy tales.

The robber girl watches the kiss,
plays with her knife, allows
a cold hand to fall. A door
opens and shut. Silence grows.
He works to solve his puzzles.


Other works by Mari Ness have appeared in Reactor, Clarkesworld, Uncanny, Apex, Lightspeed, Nightmare, Baffling, Nature Futures, Haven Spec and right here at Kaleidotrope, and have been shortlisted for the Hugo and Canopus Awards. Mari lives in central Florida, and has been spotted talking to live oak trees from time to time. For more, visit marikness.wordpress.com, or ‪@mariness.bsky.social‬.

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